prayer

Father,
again I face a lack of words.
so take these sighs and heaviness of heart
and make them in to something only you can use.

Wont you please teach my heart how to love.
I dont need empty words
or whispers of wishing all well

Father,
I need the kind that always hopes,
suffers all and has faith in all.

Jesus, if only you could confirm me.
Though I know,
otherwise they wouldnt be called
steps of faith.

writers block

its been a long time.
and its stupid how the break makes it harder to write anything.
share anything.

but here I am.

Im on my jobless, homeless wanderings.
Ive been to turku, helsinki and tampere.
seeing friends, praying, getting to know people,
having fun.

all the alternatives for the future seem exciting, and
Im just trying to settle my heart and be able to hear,
what am I supposed to do.

all the doors are possible.
Im glad, I know a man who is willing to be in control of the doors in my life.
so I guess this is time of waiting.

my days of exile are gone soon, Ive heard.
may the old be gone, may the new spring.

we have not yet come full circle.

Im still in the corridor.

no longer a student by the way,
but a bachelor of social services.
I need to pay the full price on traveling with train.

and seriously,
no idea where my life is going.

exciting.

tarifa

Ive stood there where the seas share a border.
have my feet washed with the same salty water as those who walk on the shores of africa.

in a hurry

my journey continues, more about that later.

Im alive, survived in the traffic of sevilla and cadiz.
Ive spent the weekend with people who are willing to
pay 300 euros for a notebook for a good cause.
I love Gods kingdom.

saying the words

He was saying it again;
"do not be afraid.
I myself will make a way. and you will see.
I will set this invitation to many in this generation.
come, my spirit says,
come and join me in my sufferings.
my spirit will show you the way.
come and join me in my meakness,
come and join me in my weakness,
come and carry the cross.
this is how I will make a way.
come and let go. follow me and I will make a way.
remember I have chosen that which is foolish"

and she felt that was right.
this was the right place to be,
these were the right words to hear.
here was life.
and without really thinking about it,
she heard her heart whispering;

teach me to be foolish.
to be uncool
rejected
ignored
teach me to be wretched.
heal me of my wound of rejection so that I could face rejection for your sake. hiding in you, knowing where I stand in your will.
heal me of my fear of men, so that I could have an undivide heart and fear you only.
heal me of my pride, so that I could boast of nothing else than your cross
and heal me of my strength so that I could put on weakness and leave all to you.

in between

"Im sick and tired of words that don’t mean anything." She said to him.
He nodded. And saw.
Then he smiled.
And out of his mouth came one tiny word, that pierced her right through.
"Come" he said.

And she wanted to. More than anything.

It was funny how this man said so much with one word.
It was almost, as if he was the word.
"Come" was what her ears heard,
but what really made her heart pound was the meaning of it all,
the words clinging to this simple invitation.
"Come, join. Die, live. Suffer and rejoice. Give up and gain. Let go.
Love. Not as you measure, but as I."
So it was quite clear,
Entering the new chapter would include death.
Though looking at the mans smile,
she knew that not going would mean a much more dreadful death.
So yes, she did want to.